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Yeeee, chistes wenisimos...

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Resultados 1 al 11 de 11

Tema: Yeeee, chistes wenisimos...

  1. #1
    Moderador Global Avatar de El_capo71
    Fecha de ingreso
    02 ene, 06
    Mensajes
    9,381

    Yeeee, chistes wenisimos...

    >1.-
    > >Estaba una familia de catalanes reunida ante el féretro del padre,
    > >recién fallecido.
    > >El hijo menor dice:
    > >Ahora tendremos que hacer realidad la última voluntad de papá: ser
    > >enterrado con un millón de pesetas en el ataúd.
    > >El hijo mediano añade:
    > >SÃ*, bueno... pero en realidad sólo pondremos 750.000 pesetas, porque
    > >hay
    > >que descontar el 25% de IRPF.
    > >El hijo mayor apostilla: -
    > >También tendremos que deducir el 16% de IVA......
    > >La viuda tercia en la conversación de forma resolutiva.
    > >- ¡Basta ya! Vuestro padre no merece estos regateos. Se le enterrará
    > >con
    > >la tarjeta de crédito.... y que él gaste cuanto quiera.
    > >
    > >2.-
    > >Un catalán está muriéndose de viejo en la cama. Ya agonizando
    llama a
    > >su hijo y, sacando un reloj de oro y brillantes de debajo de la
    > >almohada, le
    > >dice:
    > >Este reloj lo compró tu tatarabuelo. De él, pasó al bisabuelo. De él,
    > >al
    > >abuelo. De él, a mi padre y de mi padre a mÃ*. ¿Te gusta el reloj?
    > >- Bueno, padre. No es el momento, pero sÃ*, me gusta.
    > >- ¡Te lo vendo!
    > >
    > >3.-
    > >Un catalán en su lecho de muerte susurra:
    > >- Montse, Montserrat...¿dónde estás, esposa querida?
    > >- AquÃ* estoy, esposo mÃ*o... a tu lado.
    > >- Y mi hijo Josep... ¿dónde está?
    > >- AquÃ* estoy, padre... a su lado.
    > >- Y mi hija Mercè... ¿dónde está?
    > >- AquÃ* estoy, padre... a su lado.
    > >- Y mi hijo Jaume... ¿dónde está?
    > >- AquÃ* estoy, padre... a su lado.
    > >- Y
    entonces...¿Qué coño hace la luz de la cocina encendida?
    > >
    > >4.-
    > >Un pobre empleado se acerca a la oficina de su jefe catalán y le
    > >dice:
    > >Disculpe, señor gerente... pero hace seis meses que no cobro...
    > >- Está disculpado, GarcÃ*a.
    > >
    > >5.-
    > >Un catalán está en su casa y le da un ataque cardÃ*aco. Lo montan en la
    > >camilla, lo suben en la ambulancia y el médico le dice a su ayudante:
    > >- ¡¡Póngale la mascarilla!!
    > >Y el catalán dice:
    > >- ¡¡No por favor, pónganme la más baratilla!!!
    > >
    > >
    > >6.-
    > >Un padre catalán le dice a su hijo:
    > >- Oye, hijo, ve a buscar el martillo a la casa de Jordi.
    > >Llega a la casa del Jordi y le dice:
    > >- ¡ Jordi! mi padre dice si usted me puede prestar el
    martillo. A la
    > >media hora vuelve el hijo y le dice al padre:
    > >- ¡Padre, Padre! Jordi dice que no nos quiere prestar el martillo
    > >porque se gasta.
    > >- ¡Jordi de mierda! -dice el padre- Bueno, pues ve a buscar el
    > >nuestro.
    > >
    > >7.-
    > >Un catalán que esta arrancando el papel pintado de su casa es visitado
    > >por un amigo:
    > >- ¿Qué, redecorando la casa?
    > >- No, de mudanza.
    > >
    > >8.-
    > >¿Qué hace un catalán si se encuentra una tirita?...
    > >Se hace un corte para aprovecharla.
    > >
    > >9.-
    > >Un catalán está escuchando la radio y decide acudir a una llamada de
    > >auxilio para un hombre que ha tenido un accidente y que necesita un
    > >donante de sangre. El hombre que necesitaba la transfusión es un
    >
    >andaluz, que agradecido por
    > >salvarle la vida, le regala un cortijo al catalán.
    > >El catalán todo contento pone todos los dÃ*as la radio esperando que
    > >se
    > >vuelva a necesitar otra transfusión de sangre y que sea el mismo
    > >andaluz,
    > >como asÃ* ocurre.
    > >El andaluz, de nuevo agradecido, le regala un coche SEAT 600.
    > >El catalán vuelve a pedir que el andaluz tenga un accidente y asÃ*
    > >vuelve a
    > >ocurrir, pero esta vez el regalo que le da el andaluz por salvarle de
    > >nuevo la vida es un mechero "Bic".
    > >El catalán entonces le dice:
    > >- Primero me regalas un cortijo, después un SEAT 600, y ahora un
    > >mechero.
    > >¿A qué se debe esto?
    > >- Es que ¡¡¡ya tengo sangre catalana !!!!

    P.D: sacado del foro www.elpalleter.com

  2. #2
    Moderador Global Avatar de El_capo71
    Fecha de ingreso
    02 ene, 06
    Mensajes
    9,381
    Un catalan va por la calle con la cveza cacha y se encuentra a un amigo, este le pregunta
    ¿que te ocurre?
    el catalan le contesta, que tengo un hijo invertido
    y el amigo le pregunta
    ¿¿¿¿A QUE INTERÉS ????

  3. #3
    Centenar de la Ploma
    Fecha de ingreso
    29 ene, 06
    Ubicación
    Regne de Valéncia
    Mensajes
    709
    XDDDDDDDDDDDDD

    Me gusta sobretodo el 6º

    Pero están muy bien todos :P

  4. #4
    Sargent Centenar Avatar de mai_mos_fareu_catalans
    Fecha de ingreso
    03 ene, 06
    Ubicación
    REINO DE VALENCIA
    Mensajes
    1,010
    OTRO..

    Un cura valenciano es destinado a un pueblo de Cataluña para realizar la misa los domingos. En su primera misa, el cura dice: " y Jesus cuando estaba en la cruz, fue herido por un centinela en la costilla, el cual le clavo una lanza. Este centinela erá catalán". Los fieles, se quedan estupefactos, pero guardan silencio ante la duda.
    Al siguiente domingo, los fieles doblaban al del domingo anterior. En esta ocasión el cura valenciano dice: "Y nuestro señor Jesucristo fue juzgado por Poncio Pilatos, que por cierto, erá catalán". Los fieles empiezan a mosquearse..eso ya olia mal. AsÃ* pues le dicen al obispo que llame la atención al cura, porque se esta pasando. Dicho esto el obispo le recrimina al cura valenciano su actitud y le dice que no vuelva a decir que los peor vistos de la biblia, eran catalanes.
    El cura vuelve el tercer domingo a la misa. No cabÃ*a ni un alfiler..estaba todo el pueblo y cercanias. Todos querÃ*an saber si el cura volveria a insultarles. El cura en ese momento dijo: " Y estando nuestro señor Jesus en la ultima cena, dijo...uno de vosotros me ha traicionado,....a lo que Judas le pregunto...PARÁ QUE SOC JO?
    Y UN DIA EL PUEBLO SE LEVANTARA Y DIRA BASTA!!! NO AL IMPERIALISMO CATALAN!!

  5. #5
    Centenar de la Ploma
    Fecha de ingreso
    29 ene, 06
    Ubicación
    Regne de Valéncia
    Mensajes
    709
    XDDDDDDDDDDDDDD

    Mola tambien!

    Aunque te has pasado un poco.....mira que decir Blbia en vez de BIBLIA!.....

    Si es que.... :P

  6. #6
    Sargent Centenar Avatar de mai_mos_fareu_catalans
    Fecha de ingreso
    03 ene, 06
    Ubicación
    REINO DE VALENCIA
    Mensajes
    1,010
    arreglao....error de imprenta,
    Y UN DIA EL PUEBLO SE LEVANTARA Y DIRA BASTA!!! NO AL IMPERIALISMO CATALAN!!

  7. #7
    Centenar de la Ploma
    Fecha de ingreso
    01 ene, 05
    Ubicación
    UKV (United Kingdom of Valencia)
    Mensajes
    884
    Jajaja, to wapos!! aunq igual algun catalan decente dl foro se mosqea....

  8. #8
    Cavaller Centenar
    Fecha de ingreso
    01 ene, 05
    Ubicación
    Valéncia
    Mensajes
    1,570
    Molt bo el que has posat tu "mai_mos"
    Pero recordem que'l retor te rao :P :P :P .
    <div style=\'text-align:center\'>...En l\'orgull de sentir-se valencià està la clau de ser-ho...</div>

  9. #9
    Moderador Global Avatar de El_capo71
    Fecha de ingreso
    02 ene, 06
    Mensajes
    9,381
    Yo mai tindre res encontra dels catalans, ¡MAI!, i pense que els demes tampoc tenen res encontra dels catalans.
    Mosatros anem encontra de tot lo que siga catalaniste, i tot lo que diga paisos kklans, quatribarrás...

  10. #10
    Moderador Global
    Fecha de ingreso
    16 mar, 06
    Ubicación
    Un lugar en la tierra
    Mensajes
    10,778
    Uno multimedia sobre las "Mekagüen" vascas


    http://www.pendulares.net/especiales...s_makillan.pps

  11. #11
    Centenar de la Ploma
    Fecha de ingreso
    29 ene, 06
    Ubicación
    Regne de Valéncia
    Mensajes
    709
    El riure es sÃ*, i els chistes posats acÃ*, es poden posar sobre atres que els considerem "tacaños"

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